I was on Facebook looking at pictures of what was going on, and chatting with some friends and it made me miss a lot of things. "There's no shame in heading back" I thought. After I leave Romania, I will not have the benefit of a friend to help with language or local knowledge. It may be too hard. I will also activate the Shengen visa and that means I have 90 days total on the continent. I won't be able to take my time, everything needs to be put in place at once.
I also created a door analogy in my head. You know, where the doors represent choices in front of you and what it would mean to walk through each of those doors.
I have many family in England that I really wish to meet, and maybe once I am there it will all seem easier as I will speak the language and everything will seem more like what I am accustomed too. I have come this far and I may never have an opportunity to come again, so fuck it, I will see it through. This is the reason why I didn't update the blog either, I just was lacking inspiration.
I had also looked into what my next steps may be if I did move on. I emailed a guy that operates tours of Transylvania and got some prices. I didn't respond to his email, as I wasn't sure what I wanted to do.
Friday morning, I received a text from Miss C telling me that she had to leave town last night due to an emergency with a relative who lives in the country. I asked when she would be back and and she said that she had no idea.
Ok.... well I guess, this forces me to make a decision. Do I stay here or do I go. I "Ummed and Agghed" for awhile. The thing that prevented me from springing into action the most, was the effort involved in making all the arrangements to move on. I knew it had to happen eventually, but I was really hoping I would have more time and maybe some help from Miss C.
I could stay around and try to get by without Miss C's assistance. Mr M was still around and would help if required, but as I mentioned earlier, I started to feel like I was stuck in a routine again and after all that was why I left home to begin with. Plus there was really no point being here now if I couldn't see Miss C.
I started thinking more and more about what I was going to do when I left. I could just go to England then go home.... maybe that would be enough to make this trip successful. "But there is so much I want to be able to say I saw" I thought. "If I do never come back to Europe, can I live with the regret of not seeing more?". I booked a hotel in Budapest, at least it was a start. I can cancel it if I change my mind.
I ran out of cigarettes about Midday and decided to go to the store in the apartment complex to get some. After getting dressed and making the effort to go down there, the woman told me she had no cigarettes whatsoever. "Fucking great" I thought. Now what do I do. I could probably walk around and try to find a store, but I didn't really feel comfortable doing that on my own.
I spent all day trying to find the right decision, but it wasn't easy. I was craving cigarettes which really didn't help the thought process. I knew what the right decision was, but for 2 reasons, I didn't want to accept it. "Fuck it", I thought, "I have to go".
Mr M called me in the afternoon to see if I needed anything. I told him I needed cigarettes. He said he would come around and pick me up and we will go and get some. I thought some more about what I wanted to do, before Mr M came and picked me up.
We went to the 'Billa' supermarket a few blocks from the apartment and I got some food, beer and cigarettes, then came home. Mr M left and I went back to looking into my next steps. I think 2 hours passed and I received a phone call from Mr M. he was going out and wanted to know if I wanted to come.
I thought... "Fuck it, yes". I got dressed and Met Mr M downstairs. We met up with 2 of his friends and went to one of their apartments for an hour or 2. They didn't speak English so it was a little difficult communicating with them, but we still had many laughs. After leaving there we went to a kebab place and got a 'kebab on a plate'. I was very hungry, but there was so much food, that I couldn't eat it all.
After there we left there, we drove around a little bit and I was so tired all I wanted to do was come home. I got upstairs, had a beer or 2. I spoke with some friends and before I knew it, it was 9:00 AM the next morning. I ended up falling asleep in front of the laptop.
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