The Flight

I board my flight from Sydney and am surprised how full the plane is for such a late flight. It is an Airbus A380, it is enormous. I am amazed that something this big can even fly. I take my seat. I have a window seat and there is a teenage girl and an older guy sitting next to me. They didn't speak much English. The girl was having a conversation with a boy across the aisle, I assume it was her brother. It sounded French to me, but I could be mistaken. The plane takes off.... 13 hours to Dubai.

The A380 is pretty cool.... plenty of leg room (provided you're not 8 foot tall) and each seat has it's own individual monitor built into the back of the seat in front of it.The monitor has everything you could need to pass 13 hours of flying time. Loads of movies, both new and old, TV shows, music, games and a sattelite phone. It has a tracker so you can view the progress of your flight and it tells you how long is remaining on your flight and lots of other cool stuff. The stewardess informs us that the plane even has wifi access so you can use laptops or phones during the flight. Very cool.

I am flipping through the movies for something to watch. I start to watch the remake of Total Recall with Colin Farrell. At the start a message comes up telling me the movie has been modified for some reason that i didn't quite read before the message disappeared and the movie started. It looks good but it seems there is something missing... parts cut out or something... so i turn it off and watch a movie called The Watch instead. Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn and Jonah Hill... how can you go wrong with that combination? I laugh alot, I didn't care whether the people around me were annoyed or not. Cool movie.

Half way through the movie they serve dinner, it would be about 11 PM or 11:30 PM Sydney time at this point. Is late for a dinner, but I guess when you're travelling all routine goes out the window anyway. I was hungry so I was happy to see the food. I had a choice between Chicken or fish... being Emirates all the food is halal. I opt for the chicken, it comes with 3 courses. The food was ok as far as airline food goes. It tasted good but if you've ever eaten those microwave dinners you'll know what i mean when i say the texture and quality is just not there. I devour the food and order 2 Heinekens.

As I recline in my chair to finish my first Heineken and enjoy the rest of the movie, the girl next to me curls up in her blanket and it suddenly dawns on me, maybe the window seat isn't a good idea after all. I need to use the toilet and she is trying to sleep. The guy on the end is still eating his food aswell. hmmm.... This is going to be a long flight. The flight crew collect the trays of food and i see this as an opportunity to make haste for the toilet. I say excuse me, I have to get up and I'm not sure they understand but I make motion to get out and they realise that I want them to get up.

I return from the toilet, take my seat and decide not to drink the second beer but try and go to sleep. This is where the window seat has an advantage. I put my pillow on the window and lean against the side of the plane, and drift off to sleep. I wake up and wonder how long I have been asleep for... I turn on the monitor and look at the flight tracker. To my horror i had only slept for an hour and now I wasn't tired anymore. I look for something to entertain me but nothing does because I have an internal conflict. I am not tired, but I need to sleep, but I can't sleep, but I should at least try. I close my eyes and after maybe 5 minutes I fall asleep. I wake up again but this time I have this horrible cramped feeling in my legs. No matter how I stretch them or bend them it doesn't seem to feel any better. I decide to fold them underneath me on the seat and sit on them, then close my eyes and go back to sleep.

45 minutes passes and I wake up again and shift positions.... except this time no matter what i do...that uncomfortable feeling remains... it feels like my legs will explode with pressure or something. I look at th tracker and it informs me there is still 8 hours flying time remaining. I find my self thinking.. what am I going to do? I have 2 choices... get off the fucking plane or lie down and sleep in the aisle... neither of which is feasible. At this point all i want to do is scream "I NEED TO GET OFF THE PLANE". i find myself on the verge of hyperventilating and having a panic attack or something. I decide... I need to get up and walk around for a minute... maybe that will help.

The guy on the end is gone...I shake the girl next to me awake and then jump out and head to the toilet... i didn't need to go but figured i would while i was up and about. I walk around for a minute or 2 and then return to my seat. This has helped my legs no longer have all the pressure in them and I feel relaxed. I drink my second Heineken and then sleep for another 2 hours.

I wake up and see there is only about 5 hours remaining on the flight. Ok... this i can handle. I continue to try to sleep and after half an hour of having my eyes closed with no result... I decide to watch an episode of 'Curb Your Enthusiasm'. It's about a Seinfeld reunion.... I am laughing out loud and probably waking people in doing so. Maybe I'm an asshole... but I don't care. Halfway through my show they begin to serve breakfast... yes... I am starving. This time I have a choice of Cheese Omellete or Fritatta with Chicken Sausage. I opt for the Fritatta. Both come with some fresh fruit and a croissant. I inhale my breakfast,  Again it was tasty but still a little like soggy cardboard. I seriously need to use the toilet. Everyone is still eating... FUCK!!!!

I wait till everybody has finished eating and then ask if i can be excused. They let me out... now this time... a frigging trolley is in the way.... FUCK!!! i head for the toilet at the back of the plane... there is a line up.... FUCK!!!! After waiting 15 minutes and letting a cute girl go before me I finally use the toilet and every last scrap of toilet paper that was in there. Fuck it, what do I care, nobody else would care. I return to my seat for the last few hours of the flight. I listen to some music on my Ipod and then we land in Dubai.