As If There Hadn't Been Enough Water In Amsterdam Already

I woke up at about 10:30 AM on Saturday. It was pouring with rain. The walking tour of the city I was planning on doing started at 11:00 AM so needless to say, I was not going to make it. There was another tour at 2:00 PM and decided that was a better option.

I got ready and went to the Shell Service Station next door to the hotel and got 2 bottles of water and a Red Bull. It was about 8,00 Euros. I went back to the room. It was about 12:30 PM. I responded to some messages on Facebook and email and at about 1:15 PM headed to the lobby to get a taxi. Usually there are 2 taxis out the front waiting, but neither were there. I asked the concierge if he could call one and he gladly obliged.

About 15 minutes later the taxi came. The taxi driver was a fat old Dutchman with white hair. He spoke very good English. On the way to Dam Square, he asked me what I was going to do in there. I told him that I was going to do a walking tour. He says to me, "You know the taxi drivers here offer private tours". He explained that for 370,00 Euro, he would drive me around for 4 hours to all these different parts of The Netherlands and back. I could see the windmills and dykes, and visit the Hague and the coast. I said "No, I think I will just stick with my original plans. Then, the price dropped by 100,00 Euro. It was obviously some sort of scam, I acted interested but was never going to agree to the tour. He wouldn't give up on the subject, to the point where he even tried to insult me.

Anybody that knows me will know, that the opinion of insignificant assholes means absolutely nothing to me. Eventually we got to my destination and he dropped me off in the middle of the street. The driver was a complete asshole. I made my way across the street and found the nearest ATM. I had about 10 minutes before the tour was supposed to meet so I went into a few souveneir shops and bought some post cards and a shot glass. Then saw the tour group gathering and made my way over to the meeting point.

I got my ticket and stood nearby where the guides told us to stand and wait. It was pouring with rain and I was only one of a few people who did not have an umbrella. I took some photos and 2 girls standing nearby asked me if I could take their photo using their phone. I took their photo and asked where they were from. Both of the girls were very attractive. They were from Iceland, but studying in Prague for a few months. I made fun of their small country and they joked with me. It is dark for 3 months straight during winter in Iceland and in Summer, it is light for 3 months. It is an interesting place and they said I should visit one day.

The tour commenced. Our tour guide was David. He was originally from Dublin. He had played drums in a few Punk bands. Pretty cool guy but you could tell he had a lot of attitude. The tour took us briefly down through the Red Light District again. I smiled and blew some kisses to the girls in the window. They laughed and waived me in, but I politely refused. While we walked around I talked to David about punk and politics and the 2 Icelandic girls about Iceland, Australia and Bjork (Probably the only Icelandic export). After about an hour, we took a break back at Dam square and I got 2 hot dogs and bought some more souvenirs.

Amsterdam has beautiful scenery. The canals are apparently emptied and replenished every 3 days in order to prevent them from smelling. The only downside to Amsterdam is it is the birthplace of modern capitalism and home to the first stock exchange in the world. David joked that he and I would return with rocks and molotov cocktails and destroy the 'scene of the crime'.

The tour ended near Anne Franks house. It was around the corner but I didn't go see it. I remember the story from primary school and at the end of the day it's not much more than an old house. David invited us back to a restaurant and Me and 4 American girls went with him. I asked the 2 Icelandic girls if they were going to come but I think they wanted to go to a cafe. I thought about going with them but I can smoke weed anytime, it didn't seem that important to me.

We went to the restaurant which was nearby. I had some Beef Crocquettes (crumbed beef patties) and as I was drenched and freezing cold I had 2 Jamiesons to warm up. David and I got into a discussion with the girls about why drugs should be legalised everywhere and they seemed to miss the point. David decided that he was going to go to a cafe and we all left. The girls were going to go find a pub somewhere.

I walked around a few streets and found some taxis by an old church. I went back to the hotel, it was about 6:30 PM by the time I got back and after changing clothes, went to the bar and drank some pints of Heinekkens. I chatted with the bar tender and an american guy that was sitting next to me.

The American was a pilot for US Airlines, he flew a Boeing 767. He had a 24 hour turnaround. I spoke to him about what it was like to fly one of those massive planes. It was interesting and sounded like a cool job except all the hostesses on US Airlines are all 'old and ugly' apparently. I went into the smoking lounge and spoke to an old american guy, he was from Texas and sounded every bit as tough as you might expect. We spoke about beer a little, he was a conniseur like me. He had a company which sold oil drilling equipment and told me a story of how he swapped a 100 year old bottle of scotch in order to seal a $7 million deal. He was a nice guy.

After the cigarette, I went back to the bar and finished my beer. By the time I finished it was 11:00 PM so I decided to go to bed. I had to fly to Liverpool the next day and meet my family for the first time. I was slightly nervous.